


Does The Orange Make Me Look Professional?

by KrustyKruton



Category: Bleach, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ichigo's kind of a dick, Not sure about the relationships, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-07-26 19:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7586296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrustyKruton/pseuds/KrustyKruton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ichigo beat Aizen but something went wrong. Suddenly he finds himself trapped in another world where magic exists and dragons are more common than they were where he came from, meaning they actually have the fucking things. He's found, saved and befriended by four powerful wizards(He couldn't stop laughing when they first told him) and just continues to live through this new world. His discovery that he was immortal wasn't as much of a shock as he thought it might have been if he was still back home. He watches the kind four grow old and eventually die, but not before entrusting him with their most prided possession.<br/>The position of headmaster at their newly established school of witchcraft and wizardry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Does The Orange Make Me Look Professional?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm almost certain I'm not gonna get the personalities right but what the hell. I've had this little idea for a while, just collecting dust in my plots section and so I decided to try it. Tell me what you think! Any feedback (worded kindly please) is welcome.

Well, this sucks. 

Ichigo crouched at the top of the Astronomy tower, looking down at the ground far below that had, just recently, been painted red by the body of the old Headmaster that had fallen from the highest floor. The scowl on his face seemed to deepen the longer he studied the scene before him. 

A student/death eater, unwilling to kill his Headmaster. Then there's the secret agent, following the Headmasters plan and took the job upon himself to kill the old man under the guise of keeping the 'dark lord' happy. Well, as happy as you could make a crazy guy that's missing a nose. 

Ichigo sighed. 

It took time to get another front man and it seemed that it was time that they lacked. Perhaps it was time to join his students in the light. It had been far too long since he had left the shadows and his skin was far too pale for his liking. 

A smirk grew out of his usual scowl as Ichigo stood up gracefully. Looking down at the body of the old 'Headmaster' one last time before he took off in a flurry of shunpo, strait to his office hidden behind the official office of the Headmaster. 

He always did love seeing the reactions people had to hearing the truth about Hogwarts' Headmaster. It was simply hilarious. 

Time for some greatly delayed fun. :) 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We're going to need to assign a new Headmaster." Announced McGonagall to the Hogwarts staff as they stood in the Headmasters office. Ms.Sprout shuffled from side to side awkwardly as she tried to find a way to voice her question. "How was it done before?" Confused mumbles followed this question and McGonagall frowned. 

"I'm not sure." She admitted. "When Albus became Headmaster, it just seemed to happen. There was nothing in the papers about a meeting about the decision and no one seemed to know that the decision was happening. When asked, even Albus refused to say anything. It was almost like Hogwarts herself chose him."

"If that's true," Squeaked professor Flitwick. "Then wouldn't that happen again?" There were a few nods to that statement. "If its true that Hogwarts or some other being that we aren't aware of chooses who is to be the Headmaster, who are we to choose?" McGonagall narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to insist that they did have a right to this and that it was unwise to trust an unknown force while in a war when a strong voice interrupted her. 

"You are correct. You don't have the right."

Almost instantly, every person in the room had their wands out and pointing towards the direction that the voice had come from. Standing in front of one of the many bookshelves stood what seemed to be a teenager with short, spiky, almost neon orange hair. 

"Who are you?!" Demanded McGonagall. "How did you get in here?" The boy simply raised an eyebrow and sighed. 

Completely ignoring the danger he was in, the teen casually walked forwards and around to the back of the Headmasters desk. The boy irked McGonagall. He seemed to disregard their very presences and didn't even have a wand! Who did this boy think he was to even touch the late Headmasters desk. When the boy reached for the big cushy chair, McGonagall thought that that was far enough. 

"Stupefy!" She yelled, looking upon the child with cold eyes. The spell hit, and the teen didn't even move. The teachers stared. Dumbstruck and unable to believe what had happened. The kid sat down calmly in the big chair and elegantly placed his feet up on the desk. 

McGonagall twitched. 

"My name's Ichigo Kurosaki, and I've been the Headmaster of Hogwarts since the founders. Its.....nice(?) to finally meet you all face to face, I guess." 

For a moment there was stunned silence, then a cacophony of voices burst through it and suddenly the air was filled with shouts of denial. 

"Preposterous!"

"You're just a child! Tell us what this is all about!"

"Nicolas Flamell is the only immortal in existence. Are you a magical creature?"

"You can't possibly think that we believe this."

Their rants were cut short by the near defending sound of one of the biggest books any of them had ever seen being slammed onto the top of the desk. 

"This," Announced Ichigo nonchalantly. "Is the contract that the founders and I created that says that every 'Headmaster' that would come after them would have to sign this and answer to me. So," He paused, taking in the looked of clear disbelief and smirking. "Every Headmaster that has sat in this room after the deaths of the founders, were, in essence, my front men so that I could move freely and protect this school without people getting on my back about fucking stupid things."

He shoved it in their direction and invited them to read it, knowing for a fact that the contract was ironclad. Then, with a loud sigh, he reached into the bottom drawer and looked at the unbelievably large pile of paperwork forlornly. Taking the first sheet and setting it down in front of him he got to work. 

Barely five minutes later, Ichigo looked up and frowned. "You can go now." He said to the group of teachers still standing there as if they were a display of statues with idiotic faces. 

Some took a step back at the tone he had used but others(McGonagall) felt the need to voice their displeasure. 

"Now look here, you! Albus Dumbledore has just been killed and I will not let a-a little troll like you defile his memory by playing this sick joke. Get out of his seat this moment or I will remove you by force!" She barked. Ichigo stared at her with a clearly bored expression. He waited for her to calm down before he spoke. "You're right." McGonagall felt hope that this nightmare would end. "Your 'Headmaster'," You could practically hear the quotation marks in his voice. "Is dead. All this papers work here, is the result of that death. I have to record the death, how he died, when he died and sort out his last will and testimony. Then I have to find his annoyingly well hidden family and send them all his belongings. That manipulative old coot let himself be killed for one of his stupid plans and now its come back to bite me in the ass!"

The staff in the room couldn't believe what this...this brat was saying. How dare he badmouth such a great man that fell for such a great cause!

As if reading there minds, Ichigo gave them a weary look before returning his focus to his papers. "When you've lived as long as I have, deaths wash over you like a gentle breeze. It doesn't matter how great the cause supposedly is, it doesn't change the fact that he's dead and life moves on. Now get out of my office and go to bed. Don't forget. You work for me, always have. You just never knew it." As an after thought, he added, "Take the contract with you. Read it over. It's just a copy anyways."

With that, the staff of Hogwarts were kicked out of the Headmasters office and slowly made their way to their own chambers. 

There was a lot to think about. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day, the great hall seemed to sink into a sea of sorrow. No one spoke, no one ate, no one even looked at one another. The death of their grandfatherly Headmaster had hit everyone hard, and it left them in an almost comatose state. What added to the shock of the old professors death was how afterwards the attacking death eaters just...disappeared, leaving the students and faculty time to lick their sounds and a certain Snape lock away in a cell below the castle. 

The moment of reprise only lead to more tension, everyone anticipating another attack soon.

 

So there they sat, drowning in there own despair, so blinded by grief that they failed to notice how the teachers looked resigned, almost nervous as they glanced at the towering doors at the other end of the hall. Waiting for something, or someone, to waltz through them at any moment. 

They were partially correct. 

Yes, someone did bash the doors open in the most dramatic way possible, but they certainly did not waltz. 

Truth be told, it looked more like a hobble than anything else. 

The students jumped in surprise as the large doors smashed against the walls, sending vibrations through the stone and up the legs of unsuspecting teens. They all stared as an orange headed teenager, that seemed a little too tall to be fair, hunch over and shuffle across the hall. Mumbling and curses could be heard, wafting from him like a bad aroma that only served to confuse the students more. 

He staggered up the steps to the teachers table, skirted around it and plopped down in the most ungraceful manner in the late Headmasters chair. 

The hall froze. 

Then promptly exploded into shouts of outrage. 

The noise level grew louder the longer it went on until they could most certainly be heard from the whomping willow. 

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. 

"SHUT IT YOU FREAKIN' BRATS!!" He bellowed, lashing out with a shard of his spiritual pressure, shutting the room down until only silence reigned once more. 

"That's better." Ichigo soothed, massaging his temples in an attempt to banish the incessant pounding inside his head. "Now, we're gonna stay real quiet, just like this, ok? I'm very tired and have got a near unbearable headache because I had to stay up all night doing goddamn paperwork because old Dumbledore died, so no loud talking." He shot a glare towards anyone that looked as if they wanted to say anything before closing his eyes and taking a steaming cup of coffee from a wiry house elf who appeared with a distinct 'POP'. 

"That's good." He mused. "Now, I'm sure you all have questions, like 'why is school still running when we don't have a Headmaster?' or 'who is that guy and why is he sitting in the Headmasters chair?'. Well, school and classes will continue because you do have your Headmaster, in fact, you never lost him. Plus, a war is being waged and you need to learn to fight. Now, I'm Ichigo Kurosaki and I'm sitting in this chair because I am the Headmaster. I always have been, just not in plain sight." 

The disbelief was palpable but slowly began to disperse when the students saw that their teachers weren't doing anything. They didn't say anything against this kid, didn't say it was some cruel joke. Blood rushed out of many face's, leaving them a stark white as they stared in thinly veiled horror at the teen. They couldn't comprehend it. What was happening? 

Ichigo just smirked. 

Not only was the coffee superb(as always) but through the years he had grown very fond of confusing and shocking people. It was one of his only forms of entertainment. 

He just couldn't wait for more.


End file.
